Turned A Corner And I Ain't Going Back

Not sure when it happened, but things changed one day, and not for the better.  Was it the fact that I was approached to form a group with Joe and she just dropped it and then went to others and actually started a group?  I think it's not so much that she teamed up with others, it was just that she didn't bother to tell me that ahead of time.  I had to hear it through the gossip channels.

Looking at it now, I'm relieved that nothing came of her plan with me.  She has a tendency to be overly critical of anyone else and their ability.  She has already been bad-mouthing and complaining about her current mates, even though they are the ones getting the gigs and doing all the heavy lifting.  The name 'Diva' comes to mind every time I think about her attitude toward others.

I'm really not sure if this was the trigger point of how my feelings about performing and collaboration changed, but prior to that I was a lot more involved in the music scene around town.  

How do I feel now?  I feel like the guy in the race who has pushed and pushed and done his best and everyone else is rushing past, bumping into me, running me over and never looking back.  

I will take the blame for some of it.  There was a time when my attitude was extremely bad.  I will admit to that.  If this is the reason for my rejection now, it's not going to make things any better for me.  It only shows me that people overlook the good you do and only focus on the bad.